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Discussion Starter #21
Dear lovestruck, cleaning mommy,

YOU STOLE MY WHEEL! IT IS GONE FOREVER!! MEANIEEEE!!!

Oh, it's back? And now it smells pretty. Huh. Okay, I guess you're alright after all. Just don't you ever take it again.

Huff, puff, grump,
Truffles

(I'm sorry, I couldn't help it! He was ordering me to type on his behalf! You know how bossy hedgehogs can get; it's not my fault!)
 

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Dear Little Man,

I love you. But I am terrified to cut your nails. And must you continue to burrow into my vagina/upper thighs when we sit on my bed? I love you, and I know you dont mean it, but your quills are not the softest things on my thighs. Its ok, Ill let you sleep there for a little, only because you are so cute

Your wheel cleaner
 

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Dear crazy one,

I love your new addition to our evening routine, in which you run over to me when I approach your playpen after cleaning your cage. It makes me feel the hedgie love. But I'm beginning to suspect that it has less to do with me and more to do with the fact that I am the one who rescues you from captivity. Maybe, just maybe, you could give me a snuggle one of these evenings, instead of immediately running off in search of stinky delights?

Much love,

Your warden
 

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Dear Ivy,
Not that long ago you were your daddy's favorite because you were SO sweet. What the heck happened? Don't worry. I'm not giving up on you.

Love,
your very persistent, determined mommy

P.S. I'm really glad you're using your wheel again.
 

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My sweet Prim,
I know Rebel (the dog) is terrified of you and therefore you REALLY enjoy chasing him around the room, but honestly, he's afraid of coat hangers so you really should find a better animal to torture. At least pick one that would be a challenge.

Sincerely,
the mommy that likes to push her hedgies onto more challenging endeavors
 

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Dear picky little hedgie,

Do you think that you could try something besides mealies and crickets? I know that you love your bugs...but maybe...just this once...you could try a fruit or veggie? And I promise this time, if you start to anoint, I won't interrupt you with my squealing like the first time.

Love,
Your human (who just happens to have several treats you could eat...)
 

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Discussion Starter #28
My tiniest of friends,

I am being SO GOOD by not interrupting your sleep to steal you for cuddles right now. You should reward me with snuggles in a few hours when you wake up.

With great self control,
Your very patient human
 

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Dear my little monster,
Why do you tilt your head up and show me your fangs so much? Why do you love the dark? Why must you bite so many things? Are you a monster or getting in the Halloween spirit?
Love, your scared or proud human (for which ever you are doing)
 

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Dear my Ollie boo,

I'm sorry about taking you back & forth from my mom & dad's every week. even though it's only a 10 minute car ride, I know it is stressful for you. Thank you for being my bestfriend that never leaves my side throughout all of this. I try to hold you super close to my chest so you won't get scared, but you still ball up every time we reach a stop light. It's ok, i'm terrified of cars as well.

love,
your loving human.
 

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Dear Squirmy McWiggles,

Please hold still. I don't think it's too much to ask for you to put on a little hat for your birthday, Christmas, and Halloween. Are you embarrassed? I do my best to make sure you look stylish. I know you just want to get back in my shirt to sleep, and I really do love that you love to cuddle. But pretty please just humor me three times a year and hold still for pictures!

Do you want a bribe? Chicken? Mealies? I'll give you whatever you want if you promise to hold still for Mommy!

With Unconditional Love,
Your Ever Patient Hooman
 

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Discussion Starter #34
My hard-working friend,

Your jaws work so hard to crunch each piece of kibble, I thought I'd make your life easier by crunching some for you. Why do you ignore it? I promise you, pre-crunched kibble tastes the same.

In fear for your teeth,
Your mortar&pestle-baring human
 

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To my pointiest friend,

I am very glad you like the heating pad I installed in your home. However, it wasn't necessary to drag all your possessions into a circle around your bed. The pad covers nearly the whole cage. I know you're just using at as an excuse to be lazy, sweetie.

Your four square feet cage is going to waste,
Your equally lazy human

Sent from Petguide.com App
 

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Discussion Starter #36
My tiny marathoner,

Did you really just poop, get scared of your poop, made me come over to remove it, then huff until I got the hint to clean your wheel PROPERLY so you could run again?

If your poop is that terrifying, don't do it in your wheel!

Mystified,
Your obedient human
 

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Discussion Starter #37
My thieving friend,

Stealing socks is more effective if you tug from the toe, not the ankle.

In criminal camaraderie,
Your stinky-footed human
 

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Discussion Starter #38
My homebody hoglet,

I forgot the door to your cage open last night, and yet here you are, snuggled up in your pigloo. I guess a cage really can be a home.

I'm glad you're so comfortable!
Your forgetful human
 

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My clever little diva,

I know you hate it when we wake you up to play, so when we're so kind as to wait for you to be up and ready before trying to take you out for your bath, please don't hide in the one spot we cannot dislodge you from.

Love always (even if you stink!)

-Your patient mama
 

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Discussion Starter #40
My tiny overlord,

Little hedgehog, co-keeper did not mean to cut your toenail down to the quick. Was it really necessary to make him stub his own toe and crack the nail in half while he was grovelling his apology? Your powers for vengeance are strong, little hedgehog.

Have a mealworm-tribute, and allow me to escape unscathed.

My deepest apologies for your discomfort,
Your fumble-footed human
 
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