[OddDarkMatter91]

Today.. I had to put Igor down.. He had been losing weight upon weight upon weight.. He weighed 274g last night, and his top weight was 520g, and when I got him as a baby, he weighed 335g.
He didn't eat anything last night, and he was struggling to breath.

When I took him to the vet, she showed me the kidney area. It was so enlarged... It was obviously causing him pain, discomfort and all kinds of other problems.. He could only take one or two steps before ultimately laying down and breathing in and out rapidly, trying to catch his breath.

I miss him... Extremely.. I miss him so so much.. He was my everything. He was my baby boy. He was my lifeline, my anchor. I love him so so much.. Nothing feels the same anymore. I'm supposed to get Igor his food and bugs and cage ready at this time of day, but... Now I can't... My heart hurts..

I wish there was more I could've done for him. I wish I could've helped him more. I wanted to hug him longer, just hold him in my arms. I want to hold him again. Kiss him again.

He was diagnosed with cancer two and a half weeks ago. I can't believe it took him so quickly.. When I saw his body afterwards.. The colour of his eyes had faded.. It was the hardest I've ever cried.

So, I'm writing here..
Igor, I love you. With all my heart and soul. You were part of me, you were my little boy. And I can't imagine a future going forward without you. You mean so so much to me
I hope, that you're free from any pain and discomfort, I hope you eat all the roaches, Mealworms and calciworms you desire. And run through the fields, and and sleep in a nice warm bed. Maybe find a beautiful lady.

I'll never forget you Igor. You meant the world to me. You were my everything. And I'm already struggling to cope without you. You've been my crutch, my son, and my best friend all in one. You soothed my panic attacks, and anxieties. You forced me out of depressive episodes whenever you demanded your food from me.

You taught me so many things. You taught me responsibility, love, kindness, caring, and ultimately, parental instinct. I couldn't have gotten this far in life without you.
You're a miracle God sent. And I'll always, always keep you in my heart.

You're my baby boy. I miss you, and love you, forever.

❤

Igor Van Eeden
16/12/2018 - 19/01/2022
I'll forever love you. My big baby boy.

❤​

 

[Ria]

Oh this is so sad! Poor little Igor.
I know how much of a great life he had with you and how much love you had each forever will never leave you even if he isnt there!

I hope you get all the support you need and you have a whole lot of us, including me (even if I'm not much good at it) here for you if you ever want to talk about him.

 

[OddDarkMatter91]

Thank you ria. I appreciate your support greatly. It means alot to me. I really miss him, and I can tell this is gonna be a hard recovery process.. But thank you for having my back, I really am thankful for that.

 

[Ria]

It's always hard to recover from death of those you love so much. Having good support helps a lot.

Its not a problem, I'll always have your back here.

 

[shetland]

The loss of a pet that you so clearly love is so very difficult. It is the loss of a family member. How precious he is........so pink and white and tiny! How lucky both of you were to have each other. That will always be with and that will never change. You did what was humanly possibe for little Igor. Ther is nothing more you can have done. Give yourself the time you need to grieve for Igor. Such a big and strong name for this little boy. How very sweet........... He is in his final home and he is quite content I am sure................