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Holly is 3 years old. Super cuddly and loving.
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
RIP Holly.
Holly died on 12:27am 23rd January 2022.
Holly was 3 years 9 months old.

I am going to miss you so much Holly, I don't really know what I am going to do without you, or how I will cope without your love and support.

You are my best friend baby, and I am so glad that you could die peacefully cuddled and snuggled up with me, hearing "I love you, its okay" in your final breaths.

I will always love you like no other, and all the cute funny times we had like stealing salmon of my plate even though it was your bit anyway.
And all the banging to rearrange your enclosure the way you want.

Holly you are truly the best, my best friend, and so loved!
And you will always be with me in my heart.
You will never be forgetten or stop being loved by me or my mum.

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I understand your pain as sweet Holly leaves your loving care to move on to her new world. She is so lovely............such a bright and delicate face. Thank you for sharing her photos; I especially enjoy the one where she is staring out of the glass door. Such wonderful moments you both have shared and those will be loving memories that you continue to share.
 

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Oh wow, I'm so so sorry this happened. Seems like we can mourn together now. Our babies' times weren't that far out from eachother.
I believe we can smile and think that they're friends now in hedgie heaven.

Im really sorry about Holly, I know how special she was and how much you cared. I can relate in the way of how you feel. As you know, I lost Igor a week ago aswell. If you ever need someone to talk to or to convide to, I'll be here.
 

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Holly is 3 years old. Super cuddly and loving.
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Oh wow, I'm so so sorry this happened. Seems like we can mourn together now. Our babies' times weren't that far out from eachother.
I believe we can smile and think that they're friends now in hedgie heaven.

Im really sorry about Holly, I know how special she was and how much you cared. I can relate in the way of how you feel. As you know, I lost Igor a week ago aswell. If you ever need someone to talk to or to convide to, I'll be here.
I knew her time was coming, but she went downhill a lot faster than I expected or wanted.

I always told Holly about your Igor after helping you with anything, even his passing - I told her literally everything that I cared about - I think they will be great friends in hedgie heaven and she knows who he is to find him!

Thank you so much really!
I keep going to check on her, or tell her about things that happen and then I remember she isnt there, to do it.
I still tell her, I want to believe she can hear.
Bonding time is really hard, and trying to sleep without all her noise is even worse!
 

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I can relate. I just read your whole thread about Holly's cancer and surgeries, and her whole story.
There's so many parts there that was so, so similar to Igor. The symptoms, the grief, the time, everything.

I honestly needed that story, and I needed to know that Igor wasn't the only one who went through something like that. I kept feeling that I did something wrong. That I messed up and didn't care for him enough. That I should've tried harder, kept him longer, anything.

I miss him so so much. It's been a week for me now, and I still sleep with his blanket, and everytime I come home my first instinct is to go lay with him in my bed and kiss him. Every night at 9 pm, I want to go and cut his food and wet it for him, and I want to wake up and put him in my bed for the day like I use to.

I keep unconsciously listening for his wheel sounds at night, or his chewing and drinking sounds. It hurts immensely, my body and heart keeps wanting to go and find him, look for him, search for him, lay with him, be with him, but my mind knows he's not there anymore, and it hurts.

Every thing in my day to day life revolved around Igor. The money I earned was saved and used on Igor, the time I had was spent on Igor, the things I bought at the store was just for Igor. Now, I don't know what to do with my money or time, and I feel so empty when I walk through the stores.

But, all in all, I can indeed say, it's difficult, and you will go through the griefing process, but it does get better, slowly, but surely, day by day. I can look at Igors pictures and not cry, even though, this whole story of Holly made me cry again.

I felt every emotion, from sadness, to anger, to denial, to depression, to desperation. I cried the hardest I've ever cried on the day of his passing. I was mad at myself and everyone around me, because I felt like a terrible owner.
I refused to believe he's gone. I kept wanting to go back to the vet to get him back, stating that he isn't gone, he can't be gone. It's impossible.
I've laid in bed and felt numb and empty, I've struggled to sleep, I've been getting nightmares.
I've been trying to find myself a new hedgehog desperately, just to try and fill that void, but deep inside, I know it's just my emotions talking.

I'm not ready for another hedgehog. Not yet.

I know and understand what your going through, and I feel for you, and I relate to you on so many levels. I'm sorry for what happened, but atleast we can take closure in the fact that they're both not in anymore pain.
And they can hear us. I keep saying hello to Igor every time I go into my room, he's there. Both of our hogs are listening and watching over us.
 

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Holly is 3 years old. Super cuddly and loving.
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I'm glad Holly's story helped you with knowing you did everything you could to help. Honestly I put up a lot of details, not just for the help and support at the time, but for others who come across it so that if they are going through similar it can help them a bit.

When Holly died, I cried so hard for ages into the morning. I kept thinking I could hear her moving after I put her back to try and sleep, and the I just kept getting up to look only find I was imaging it!
Every time I ended up asleep it didnt last long waking up in total shock confused about everything from the time to where I even was!

I doubted my choice of not putting her down, like maybe it was her time, given how fast she went from that vet visit, maybe I should have put her down at that point.
But then I know that what I did was the right thing because it meant that she died happy and content in a place she knows, being cuddled. I spent the whole day before cuddling with her to because I could!

I got mad at the vet! I was like "he did something to make her die she was so much better and then she went so fast after that visit" I even got my mum to call the vets to let them know she died because I didnt want want to talk to them!
I'm still not really over that thought though.

Honestly I get everything you have said I'm the exact same.
I'm hoping that once I get her ashes back that I'll be able to accept it more.

I even thought that another hedgehog would possibly help me with it, help me through it. But I know I'm not ready for that at all yet and I then I felt bad for even thinking it.

I talk to Holly everyday, and my whole family think I am crazy for it but I don't even care!
Honestly knowing that someone else believes it helps so much!

Today I took her out the freezer to get her paw prints in clay, and she will be taken to the crematorium Friday.
Both are very difficult days for me!

I remember the times I would try to put her food down and she was trying to eat out the bowl before I even got it on the floor.
She always knew exactly how to make me laugh and help me get over bad days.
 

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Holly is a female African Pygmy Hedgehog. She weighs about 463g and was born May 28, 2019.
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I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you can have great memories of her and remember that she loved you so, so much. She was probably grateful to have died with you comforting her knowing that she was safe and loved. Praying for you, and grief is okay. Much love to you both <3
 

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I had the exact thought. There was a few times I doubted my vet, thinking they did something to cause Igor's death, since he spiraled down so quickly.

I'm hoping getting Igor's ashes back will help me too. I'm planning on making his cage a shrine like thing. Put his ashes in his cage, and light a candle every night to pay him my respects up in heaven, just so he knows I'm still thinking of him.

My original plan was to still make his empty cage food every night, but my mom said that was unhealthy 😂

I'll be getting a tattoo of Igor's paw print I got a while back, with his name at the bottom. He'll forever be with me.

Hah Igor would do the exact same thing! Everytime I would get his bugs out of the freezer, (and microwave them) I'd wrinkle the plastic to let him know it's bug time. You could immediately see his tiny nose coming out of his snuggle sack, and then his body, as he was looking and sniffing the air for his bugs.

After he got his bugs, I'd give him his food. He'd stand up against the cage like a dog, waiting for his food and as soon as I try to put it down, he'd go to the food spot and be in my way, lol. He loved his food so much.

The day of his passing was the first day he refused to eat anything. Ham, bacon, fish, his biscuit, wet cat food, even his insects.
He could barely walk. ****, he couldn't even walk. He'd try to move a little forward, and then lay down, exhausted, and his breathing was so labored and fast.

That's when I actually went to the vet to originally ask how to syringe feed a hedgehog. And if there's special food for him. She told me she thinks it's time for him to go. At that moment, he was suffering, and I, as his caretaker and parent, couldn't allow that.

I really appreciate your story. It helped me accept and not feel so left out.
 

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Holly is 3 years old. Super cuddly and loving.
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you can have great memories of her and remember that she loved you so, so much. She was probably grateful to have died with you comforting her knowing that she was safe and loved. Praying for you, and grief is okay. Much love to you both <3
Thank you so much.
I have loads of great memories of Holly which I always end up thinking about especially come when it was her bonding time.


I had the exact thought. There was a few times I doubted my vet, thinking they did something to cause Igor's death, since he spiraled down so quickly.

I'm hoping getting Igor's ashes back will help me too. I'm planning on making his cage a shrine like thing. Put his ashes in his cage, and light a candle every night to pay him my respects up in heaven, just so he knows I'm still thinking of him.

My original plan was to still make his empty cage food every night, but my mom said that was unhealthy 😂

I'll be getting a tattoo of Igor's paw print I got a while back, with his name at the bottom. He'll forever be with me.

Hah Igor would do the exact same thing! Everytime I would get his bugs out of the freezer, (and microwave them) I'd wrinkle the plastic to let him know it's bug time. You could immediately see his tiny nose coming out of his snuggle sack, and then his body, as he was looking and sniffing the air for his bugs.

After he got his bugs, I'd give him his food. He'd stand up against the cage like a dog, waiting for his food and as soon as I try to put it down, he'd go to the food spot and be in my way, lol. He loved his food so much.

The day of his passing was the first day he refused to eat anything. Ham, bacon, fish, his biscuit, wet cat food, even his insects.
He could barely walk. ****, he couldn't even walk. He'd try to move a little forward, and then lay down, exhausted, and his breathing was so labored and fast.

That's when I actually went to the vet to originally ask how to syringe feed a hedgehog. And if there's special food for him. She told me she thinks it's time for him to go. At that moment, he was suffering, and I, as his caretaker and parent, couldn't allow that.

I really appreciate your story. It helped me accept and not feel so left out.
That's really so sweet! I'm not really 100% sure where I will end up having Holly's Ashes, but it will probably be somewhere around the cage area.

I cant touch the stuff, it all needs taking out and cleaning but I just cant bear to do it.
I do agree that keep making and putting food out for his empty cage isnt healthy but I also 100% understand why you want to.

Thats so sweet! I am going to make a keyring out of the paw imprint I made. Thinking that I might even try put some ashes into the print in resin but not 100% sure on that yet.

She has a photo box casket, so I'll have her photo on it, and then her paw imprints, and I am going to make her a holly name plaque since it doesn't come with one.

Haha I can see that with Igor too! Some things they were so similar!
 

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Ohh I have like, over 160 photos of Igor on my phone. I wanna develop them all and make a remembrance album for him.

I kinda wish I kept some of his quills throughout the years, but I have his teeth that fell out. Lol, I don't know what I'll do with them yet. Just remembered I have them.
 

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Holly is 3 years old. Super cuddly and loving.
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I have no idea how many photos I have, but I know there's loads! An album sounds like a really good idea!

Not sure what you could do with teeth to be honest, if I come up with anything I'll let you know!
 

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Do you have any quills? For a very long time I used to wear a tiny vial attached to a rope (it also has a hedgehog charm on it) around my neck that contained the quills of my first several hedgehogs. Each time one wound pass, I'd open the vial and add a couple of new quills. It kept them close to my heart that way. I stopped wearing it a few years ago, after 15 hedgehogs it was full and I couldn't bear to remove any quills to add new.
 

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Aw Kal, I can't imagine losing that many hogs. One already felt like I'm crawling through **** and back. But I do commend you for your efforts in giving all this hedgehogs good homes.

Unfortunately, I atleast, don't have any quills of Igor. I never bothered collecting them, cause I never thought far enough of the possibility of me losing him so quickly. I always thought I had more time.
 

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Holly is 3 years old. Super cuddly and loving.
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
That is a lot of hogs. I can see me eventually loosing that many though my life and going through this horrible grief loads.

I have a fair few of Holly's quills, not a whole lot but enough of them.
I was going to put a few into resin with a photo of her and make it into a keyring.
 

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Holly is 3 years old. Super cuddly and loving.
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Unfortunately, I atleast, don't have any quills of Igor. I never bothered collecting them, cause I never thought far enough of the possibility of me losing him so quickly. I always thought I had more time.
A lot if people (here anyway) Get a few of the ashes into resin charms, keyrings, rings, necklaces.
But your tattoo idea and photo album will also be a really nice way to remember Igor.
 

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I never thought about it with my first, but I found a quill in the carpet just after she passed. I picked it up, and sat holding it for a while. She had gotten me one last time (stepped on that quill). I held on to it. After her daughter and son died, I kept more. And it just became a thing. I ran across an idea of keeping a bit of sand from the beach as a keep sake in a small vial, and adopted it.

Look up cremation jewelry. There are a lot of really nice looking charms that you can put a small amount of ashes in. The majority of mine are in small metal urns. With the last 8 I have had them cremated and put into small, hand carved boxes. Each contains a group of bags, who lived here together (separate cages of course!).
 

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Oh wow, I'm so so sorry this happened. Seems like we can mourn together now. Our babies' times weren't that far out from eachother.
I believe we can smile and think that they're friends now in hedgie heaven.

Im really sorry about Holly, I know how special she was and how much you cared. I can relate in the way of how you feel. As you know, I lost Igor a week ago aswell. If you ever need someone to talk to or to convide to, I'll be here.
Hedgie heaven has to be the most wonderful place. Hedgies as far as the eye can see.
 
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