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Hedgehog Humor

 

 

In an effort to produce the perfect "jumbo" hedgehog (the exact opposite of the mini) we accidentally created a bit of a monster a few years ago.

It wasn't our fault really. He was simply too big for the 800 square foot cage we built for him and before long he went over the wall. Ever since we've been tracking his activities in an effort to stop his reign of terror, but from the photographs we've collected thus far, it looks like he found a giant girlfriend and may now have a family.

We give up. We'll continue to track any suspicious sightings, but as far as we're concerned. he belongs to the world now. Someone else can clean up after him.

Hedgehog in London

At first we thought we had him tracked to London, England, but the photograph that we have since received clearly shows that a slightly smaller hedgehog was the culprit behind this most recent false sighting. Eye-witnesses claim that, after gingerly stepping into Piccadilly Circus and over shocked onlookers, this behemoth hedgehog tried to hail a bus. But, after failing to produce exact change, he was forced to continue his journey on foot. As he wandered off, bewildered spectators to this bizarre spectacle say that the beast could be heard muttering something about someone named "Dinsdale.''

Why the Secret Service didn't do anything to stop this fella is totally beyond me but at least one amateur photographer had the presence of mind to snap off a few pics before our hungry visitor headed off in search of worms and other slimy invertebrates large enough to satisfy his behemoth appetite. We're not sure if he found what he was after, but he did spend a considerable deal of time over at the Capitol Building...

All right, this was too weird even for us. When the Mars Pathfinder landed on the Red Planet, scientists at NASA named one of the rocks "Hedgehog". We weren't sure why until we looked closer at the photograph taken above. Click on the photo for a digitally enhanced close-up of the rock in question. 
Perhaps there really is intelligent life on Mars...

Hedgie Kong

This black and white photo, straight out of the hidden archives of the US military confirms my worst fears... I was not the first to produce a giant hedgehog. No, here is undeniable proof that 'Hedgie Kong' as he was then known, not only existed back in the 1930's, but also appears to have made a bit of a pest of himself over the New York skyline. Considering the far greater damage that his counterparts, King Kong and Godzilla made of the Big Apple, Hedgie Kong's rampage was soon forgotten. After making short work of a couple of squadrons of biplanes, Hedgie Kong boarded a ship for South America. Rumor has it he's now selling time shares in Mazatlan, Mexico

What are you staring at?
It's just another Elvis impersonator...

Beach Bum

This just hot off the wire from Mazatlan Mexico. While it isn't the largest hedgehog we've come across, this 200 pounder definitely is in the running! The Giant Mexican hedgehog population (Atelerix mexicanus beachbumicus) is estimated to be very small and on the endangered list. It is speculated that there would be more of these creatures if they weren't goofing off at the beach all day.

In all the time that we have been hunting down giant hedgehogs we've been at a loss to understand where they came from or how they came to be in the first place.  Thanks to a visitor from Alaska we now have tentative, yet compelling evidence of genetic manipulation.  Frankenhedgie lives...

Frankenhedgie


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