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Old 02-12-2014, 05:36 PM   #11 (permalink)
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You haven't failed her at all, and you truly are doing everything in your power to help her. Sending hugs to you and good thoughts to Pipka. Let us know how the surgery goes.
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Old 02-13-2014, 05:04 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Thank you Abby. I should have seen more vets for second opinion though. I am so nervous. I am not leaving without her getting surgery tomorrow. 9 more hours until we see the vet. Thank you very much for your support, it means so much. I will definitely keep you informed. I will wait there until she wakes up. I know she will wake up. She is a strong girl. Thank you Abby. Tons of hugs :*
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Old 02-13-2014, 09:03 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Unless you have surgery scheduled she probably won't get surgery the day of the visit. Most vet have dedicated surgery days, plus she will have to fast before the surgery.
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Old 02-13-2014, 08:53 PM   #14 (permalink)
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So I came to see the doctor again. He examined her, she was bleeding heavily and was sneezing excessively. He checked the x-rays again and told me based on the evidence the tumour is most likely in her bladder, which is very hard to operate. It would be much easier if the tumour was in her uterus as he can just do spay, but she needs her bladder to live and function. I was pushing for the surgery even though he told me repeatedly the hedgie has only the slight chance of survival.That was the time when I totally lost it and burst into tears I was holding back all those weeks. She has been bleeding since December 23rd, 2013 until now. The blood started leaking from her urethra last Tuesday in the wee hours. I made a habot from checking on her every 3 hours even during night, that's when I realized it was getting worse.

I called my fiance immediately, told him what doctor told me and my fiance asked me to push for the surgery. I came home and saw Pipka was struggling. She struggled last Thursday when we got home and she struggled even more today. After 2 hours of crying, I got my sh*t together. Who am I to cry here, she is the one suffering. I called the doctor's office and grabbed her painkillers. She finally fell asleep.

It's been rough, I cannot sleep properly, eat properly, I kept saying to myself this all was preventable. I left my then vet Dr. Uri Burstyn because almost all of his ideas or procedures were absolutely unnecessary and did more bad than good. When I met Dr. Dodds, he did not push me to another appointment, he does his job, he does not offer additional procedures when they are not needed. He told me it may be tumour, but he thinks it's just soft tissue. I went with that. Now I know better and now I know I should have go with the surgery when I found blood in her urine for the first time.

I love her, I love her so much it hurts me physically and I will never forgive myself for not getting the second opinion.

The only advice I have is do not detract your hedgehog's or any pet's condition. I understand it's costly, I spent over $3000 (and I do not regret a dollar from it even though I am a grad student and has to support myself) for Pipka and it was all antibiotics, X-rays, check-ups, urine sampling, skin scrapping. Do not wait, see the vet immediately, know what you want from your vet and go for it, do not leave until you are content with the appointment. Watch your hedgie closely and if something is not right and your inner voice tells you to do something, see the vet immediately (vet assistant is allergic to me as I call the vet office almost every day and was doing so for the past month, it's important to fight for your little one).

She finally fell asleep. She has a cancer and it spread to her lungs. I always thought she had cold or even pneumonia and now I feel bad for forcing her to go through all those antibiotics she hated so much. I want her to have the best last days. I bought her her favourite a/d critical care cans and also fresh meal worms. I was looking forward to this summer, I used to take her to the meadow, she enjoyed running around there last summer

I love her so much and if I could do anything, to travel back in time, I would do it immediately.

Thank you ladies for your support and wise words, you are amazing and you helped me tremendously. Without you I would be lost and your knowledge regarding hedgehogs is bigger than any vet's I know Thank you.
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Old 02-13-2014, 09:43 PM   #15 (permalink)
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That made me so sad. I know it is hard to not blame yourself, but hoe could you have possibly known? You went to a well regarded vet and when that didn't work out you sought out another specialist who reassured you it was nothing to worry about. I know I myself second guess a lot of things and even though I am a new hedgie owner I have already learned how to tie myself in knots with worry. Read your posts back and pretend another owner had written those words. What would you tell that person? Would you beat them up about what they maybe, should of, could of done? I hope not. You would empathize with them. Your hedgie knows you did your best, you both gave it a good fight but cancer is a b**** and doesn't fight fair, not in humans and certainly not in animals.
Without a good owner who obviously cares so much she might of had a rotten life.
Sorry to go on like a lunatic, but I hope you find some small comfort in everyone's words to you.
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Old 02-13-2014, 10:08 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I am so terribly sorry. =[ You did absolutely everything you could, and it is normal to not want to do surgery unless you absolutely have to. I hope you won't beat yourself up too much. You went above and beyond what a lot of people would. I know my family thought I was crazy spending as much money as I did on Relm.

You are a great hedgehog mom, and I know that Pipka knows that too. *hugs*
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Old 02-13-2014, 10:16 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry to hear about your poor little girl. But you are an amazing hedgie Mom, and pet owner, a lot of people can learn from you.

She's very lucky to have you, to be by her side during her last days.
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Old 02-13-2014, 10:31 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I'm so sorry. Please don't beat yourself up. You went above and beyond regular hedgie parental care, even without getting a second opinion. She's lucky to have you and your fiance there to care for her so much. And when she crosses that rainbow bridge she'll be comforted by your presence and she'll go knowing that she is very loved, and will be deeply missed but never forgotten. Give her lots of love and kisses from all of us here.
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Old 02-13-2014, 10:43 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Thank you very much ladies. It helps me a lot to read your posts. Thank you so so so much.

I do not want to make this post about me, as this should be mainly about my hedgie Pipka. I just have no idea how to cope with loss. I cannot imagine to fully loose her, to not see her again. I do not want to put her to sleep at the vet's office, she is my hedgie and I do not want to leave her there.

I don't know what to do. It's so so so hard. I don't know how to exist without her, she made me so happy and moments spent with her were the ones I always looked forward to. I cannot imagine my life without her. How should I comfort myself? What should I tell myself to make it better? I always relied and prayed every day and night for her recovery, for her getting better and that was my solace. I believed in it so much. The vet took this from me today and I have no idea what to do now.

I am not ready to loose her. It just hurts so so so much. I cannot imagine how badly she's hurting. I want her to be pain free but at the same time I want her to stay with me.

Buying her on Craigslist was my fiance's idea. I love animals and I always loved hedgehogs. I never knew they could make great pets too. When we got Pipka, I was at my lowest, dealing with major depression and she made it all go away. She turned my life around and she saved me. And I feel I didn't pay back the favour.

Please how did you deal with loss of your hedgie? Did you talk to someone?
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Old 02-13-2014, 11:47 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I cried. A lot. I hate crying, but it did help to just get it all out of my system, although it took awhile. Even when I got Basch, I would still tear up talking/thinking about Relm. The vet pressed Relm's paws into clay and baked it, then wrote her name on it and sent it to me in the mail. (I was unaware they did this so when I opened the letter I started crying all over again!) Her paws are always here with me at my desk. I'm sure you can find some clay at a craft store and make an imprint of Pipka's paws yourself, if you wanted.

I also talked to my hubby about it a lot. He's actually a psychologist so he's a really good listener. Sometimes you just need to talk and someone needs to listen. Talking to your fiance and sharing in your good memories of Pipka might help ease the pain a little.

Remember the good times and don't bottle up your emotions too much. That's kind of the way I coped, but everyone is different. =]
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