I understand and am sorry that you have had to struggle to get to this place. I don't take it personally. We all have our own needs.
I do hope though, that between now and December 25th that you keep up with your care and attention to Sherlock. He needs it, even if he doesn't seem to want it.
And remember, it's always possible you'll have a breakthrough between now and then. Christmas is a long time away.
The fox knows many things, but the hedgehog knows one big thing. ~ Archilochus