Letters to my Hedgehog

[sonichedghehogbreyer]

Dear Spike Ball,

When the little kids at the petting zoo handled you, you were great! But when I handle you, you curl in a ball and hiss and short.

Also, our dog, Bosley is afraid of you, granted, he is afraid of almost everything. Find something better to harass please.

[Annie&Tibbers]

My tiny friend,

You're right! I got that shoebox and tissue paper just for you. The shoes were totally irrelevant.

With perpetual indulgence,
Your box-purchasing human

[abbys]

Dear Squirmy McWiggles,

Please hold still. I don't think it's too much to ask for you to put on a little hat for your birthday, Christmas, and Halloween. Are you embarrassed? I do my best to make sure you look stylish. I know you just want to get back in my shirt to sleep, and I really do love that you love to cuddle. But pretty please just humor me three times a year and hold still for pictures!

Do you want a bribe? Chicken? Mealies? I'll give you whatever you want if you promise to hold still for Mommy!

With Unconditional Love,
Your Ever Patient Hooman

[Annie&Tibbers]

My hard-working friend,

Your jaws work so hard to crunch each piece of kibble, I thought I'd make your life easier by crunching some for you. Why do you ignore it? I promise you, pre-crunched kibble tastes the same.

In fear for your teeth,
Your mortar&pestle-baring human

[MartinAndMe]

To my pointiest friend,

I am very glad you like the heating pad I installed in your home. However, it wasn't necessary to drag all your possessions into a circle around your bed. The pad covers nearly the whole cage. I know you're just using at as an excuse to be lazy, sweetie.

Your four square feet cage is going to waste,
Your equally lazy human


Sent from Petguide.com App

[Annie&Tibbers]

My tiny marathoner,

Did you really just poop, get scared of your poop, made me come over to remove it, then huff until I got the hint to clean your wheel PROPERLY so you could run again?

If your poop is that terrifying, don't do it in your wheel!

Mystified,
Your obedient human

[Annie&Tibbers]

My thieving friend,

Stealing socks is more effective if you tug from the toe, not the ankle.

In criminal camaraderie,
Your stinky-footed human

[Annie&Tibbers]

My homebody hoglet,

I forgot the door to your cage open last night, and yet here you are, snuggled up in your pigloo. I guess a cage really can be a home.

I'm glad you're so comfortable!
Your forgetful human

[mellykins]

My clever little diva,

I know you hate it when we wake you up to play, so when we're so kind as to wait for you to be up and ready before trying to take you out for your bath, please don't hide in the one spot we cannot dislodge you from.

Love always (even if you stink!)

-Your patient mama

[Annie&Tibbers]

My tiny overlord,

Little hedgehog, co-keeper did not mean to cut your toenail down to the quick. Was it really necessary to make him stub his own toe and crack the nail in half while he was grovelling his apology? Your powers for vengeance are strong, little hedgehog.

Have a mealworm-tribute, and allow me to escape unscathed.

My deepest apologies for your discomfort,
Your fumble-footed human