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Old 07-20-2011, 01:20 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default My husband wants me to sell Pearl :(

Well, we've only had pearl since May, and my husband really doesn't like Pearl. Pearl, she is extremely fearful and fussy. She is beautiful, beautiful coloring, and very curious, but she just hates everyone and everything. I'm not sure if she just becomes over whelmed or what. I've been trying to work with her on her fearfulness, but she is so scared of everything. I am going to keep working with her on everything....i'm trying to litter train her and she is kind of trying to get the idea a little bit but it is very slow, she just hates being touched and spoken too. Hoggle, he is much more calm. Pearl started getting this way when her new quills came in, she quilled for a long long time and it was very painful I am sure because she didn't have very many quills at all when I first brought her home. I feel super attached to her because she really wasn't very healthy when I got her....and I spent a lot of time getting her to a good healthy point to grow like she should. I don't know. Fortunately, my husband isn't pushy, he just tells me his opinion but lets me choose what to do. It is just really sad to think about....really. In a way, kind of agree with him....but I don't want to give up. I guess we are spoiled with Hoggle, he is just super chill. I feel kind of stuck....anyway....the other hard part is I just started my new job, and my hours a really odd right now....so I want to spend even more time with her but usually when I get off work I just want to go to bed. oh man..
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Old 07-20-2011, 01:25 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband wants me to sell Pearl :(

Oh, I feel for you. It's not easy, is it? Snarf and Pearl were soulmates, I am sure. He was just starting to relax and trust a bit when he died, so I never got the chance to see what 'may have been'.

I say, as long as YOU love her...keep trying. And if he's not pushing, just do what I do with mine and ignore him.

Hedgies like Pearl are extra-challenging and worrisome but people like YOU should be the ones to help them, so I say keep loving her...worst case, she never moves out of her grumpiness but YOU have provided all the love a hedgie could ever ask for.
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Old 07-20-2011, 01:31 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband wants me to sell Pearl :(

awwww....
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Old 07-20-2011, 01:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband wants me to sell Pearl :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissC
Hedgies like Pearl are extra-challenging and worrisome but people like YOU should be the ones to help them, so I say keep loving her...worst case, she never moves out of her grumpiness but YOU have provided all the love a hedgie could ever ask for.
I completely agree with Cindy. Also, keep in mind that you haven't had her that long. I have come to the conclusion that my Mildred is just a cranky hedgehog in general, and she makes it clear about her feelings toward me, but I have seen improvement as far as her jumpiness/readiness to ball up. I've had her since the end of May and we are still making baby steps toward a good relationship. I have a feeling that she will always be a grumpy pants, but that's just too bad for her I'm going to be like that crazy girlfriend who never leaves her alone! (Peeping through the window, telling her how much I love her, etc)

Stay strong. Pearl is just being herself, and you should try to explain that to your hubby. I had to have that talk with my fiance about Milly because he was convinced that she hated him. Now he understands that hedgies are just kind of keep-to-themselves animals a lot of the time and he's more willing to spend time with her.
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Old 07-20-2011, 01:39 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband wants me to sell Pearl :(

The social interaction is really more for the person than the hedgehog so if hours at work have changed I'm sure she will be content not to be handled but still have a good home that is knowledgeable on her care. I'm not saying to influence you but just that if your main reason is guilt over not being able to handle her that many would agree she will still be content without that aspect. As long as she has a nice environment with all of her needs then she will be fine. Even with the new schedule it may be harder but it only takes a few minutes a day to clean up and change water so it should be okay on that aspect, it can also be done while multitasking with other household duties. She may be one of those hedgies that don't warm up over time and would rather do her own thing so don't feel bad. You can still give her a nice home and she'll be happy doing her own thing

The husband thing is hard but if he's just saying he doesn't like them that wouldn't really phase me. The way I see it is I have a say in things too and if I'm the one taking care of them then I don't really see why someone would even find it necessary to make such a comment to me. That would have irritated me personally because even though everyone has a right to their opinion why would someone find it necessary to say something about something I have committed to take care of for life.

Sorry to hear the situation you are in though, I know it has to be hard. I'm sure you will do whats best and I'm not trying to come off negative. It's just like one of those things where a friend tells you something shocking and you are upset on their behalf lol
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Old 07-20-2011, 01:51 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband wants me to sell Pearl :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by hanhan27
I'm going to be like that crazy girlfriend who never leaves her alone! (Peeping through the window, telling her how much I love her, etc)

OMG. This is me.

*I* am the crazy-hedgie owner.
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Old 07-20-2011, 02:19 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband wants me to sell Pearl :(

Hahahaha MissC and Hanhan--- I'm the same way!! Right down to watching them sleep when they don't know I'm there... "Crazy girlfriend" right there lol

Nikki, I'm so sorry to hear there are problems on the husband/hedgie front... However, I know how much you love Pearl. Igs was super cranky for a few months after his quilling, and while he's still not quite as easy going as Eriza, he's still very much my baby-- he has gotten to the point that he cuddles, splats on my tummy, etc. It takes a lot of time and bribing, and she may not ever be as sociable as Hoggle, but she can still be enjoyable. Let me know how things go, I hope everything works out!!
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Old 07-20-2011, 02:30 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband wants me to sell Pearl :(

I've had Teddy Bear since the beginning of April and he is still a cranky boy but is getting better. If you want my two cents i'd say keep her, If you keep trying you will succeed Sometimes it takes months for a hedgehog to be settled in and as MissC said you may never know what may have been...



MissC, I've just recently got back a week ago from a month long trip. When I did get back I read about Snarf He was the first hedgehog I learned about when I joined HHC, even though we never met I felt like I knew you and Snarf personally. He seemed to be a tough guy who secretly loved you and expressed that in the end. I send my best wishes to you, Jaime, and Sumo.
RIP Snarf <3
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Old 07-20-2011, 03:12 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband wants me to sell Pearl :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by MissC
Quote:
Originally Posted by hanhan27
I'm going to be like that crazy girlfriend who never leaves her alone! (Peeping through the window, telling her how much I love her, etc)

OMG. This is me.

*I* am the crazy-hedgie owner.
Bahaha, me too. I realized that I need to curb this for if and when I have kids. Apparently, I have crazy mommy tendencies, which I never suspected until I got Misha. And, yesterday at dinner I was painting a bright future of much money that would lead to me rescuing all the hedgehogs everywhere and loving them forever, and Will started to look really nervous and said:

"Please ... please don't become a crazy hedgehog lady."

The poor man. I think he had a mental image of me old and shaggy-haired, rocking fitfully in a rocking chair and muttering to myself as hundreds of hedgehogs run rampantly around the house and burrow in my shawl.

Beehive, I say keep Pearl. At least give her some more time. I doubt you can find another owner that would love her, care for her, and understand her as much as you do. And, maybe hubby can spend a bit more time with her, too? I don't know if he does or not, but maybe if he spends time with her, feeds her, etc, then he'll feel like she's his hedgie, too, and be more reluctant to get rid of her, grump though she may be? Good luck!
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Old 07-20-2011, 03:15 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Default Re: My husband wants me to sell Pearl :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by moothecow
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissC
Quote:
Originally Posted by hanhan27
I'm going to be like that crazy girlfriend who never leaves her alone! (Peeping through the window, telling her how much I love her, etc)

OMG. This is me.

*I* am the crazy-hedgie owner.
Bahaha, me too. I realized that I need to curb this for if and when I have kids. Apparently, I have crazy mommy tendencies, which I never suspected until I got Misha. And, yesterday at dinner I was painting a bright future of much money that would lead to me rescuing all the hedgehogs everywhere and loving them forever, and Will started to look really nervous and said:

"Please ... please don't become a crazy hedgehog lady."

The poor man. I think he had a mental image of me old and shaggy-haired, rocking fitfully in a rocking chair and muttering to myself as hundreds of hedgehogs run rampantly around the house and burrow in my shawl.

Beehive, I say keep Pearl. At least give her some more time. I doubt you can find another owner for that would love her, care for her, and understand her as much as you do. And, maybe hubby can spend a bit more time with her, too? I don't know if he does or not, but maybe if he spends time with her, feeds her, etc, then he'll feel like she's his hedgie, too, and be more reluctant to get rid of her, grump though she may be? Good luck!
Haha you wouldn't' have time to be crazy with that many hedgehogs running around you'd be cleaning poop 24/7 XD
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